If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
