i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
