Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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