Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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