you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
