The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
