so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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