Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
