I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
