the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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