what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
