I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
