I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
