She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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