How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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