I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
