Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize