im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
