Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
