Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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