Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
