everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize