We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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