It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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