Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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