you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
