I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
