My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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