They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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