I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
