I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
