What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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