I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
