Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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