she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
