A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
