Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
