Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Did I show you my penis last night?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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