i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
