He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
