Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just want nice things and good sex
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
