I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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