so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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