Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
