Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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