The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
