I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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