Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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