Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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