Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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