I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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