Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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