i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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