Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We have so much sex to catch up on
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
