So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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