we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
