You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
