1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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