If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
