You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
