butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
bring money and cleavage
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
