So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
