i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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