I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This gyro tastes like lonliness
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
