how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
