so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize