I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
