And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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