Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
