i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
