Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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