We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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