If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
