Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
