D3 body, D1 cock
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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