Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
