i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize