The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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