And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
