Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
