you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
