Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
