You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
