Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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