i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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