If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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